Trucker Jokes. These jokes for the most part are jokes for truckers. If you know any truck driver jokes then please send us them to us there's a form directly under the Trucker Jokes.
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A young kid starting his first job as a waiter in a diner has a big trucker come in and sit down at the counter and order, The trucker says "Gimme 3 flat tires and a couple of headlights." Bewildered the kid goes to the kitchen and tells the cook, "I think this guy's in the wrong store, look at what he ordered!" The cook says, "He wants 3 Flapjacks and 2 eggs sunny-side up." The waiter then takes a bowl of beans to the driver. He looks at it and growls, "What's this? I didn't order this!" The kid tells him, "The cook says that while you're waiting for your parts you might as well gas up while your waiting!"
As a trucker pauses for a red light, a four wheeler with a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Carla and you are losing some of your load." The driver ignores her and proceeds on down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the blonde catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Carla, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Carla, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde's car, He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Joe. It's winter in New Mexico, and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
An old man was eating in a truck stop when three rough-looking bikers walked in. As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter. The second biker picked up the old man's milk and spit into it. The third biker turned over the old man's plate before joining the others at the counter.
Without saying a word to the laughing bikers, the old man put his money down, got up, and left the diner. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied, Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles!
A trucker driving along on the freeway notices a road sign in the distance that reads Low Bridge Ahead.
Sure enough, the trucker gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. The cop gets out of his cruiser and walks around to the truck driver. He puts his hands on his hips and remarks, "Looks like you got stuck, huh?"
The trucker replies sarcastically, No, officer, actually I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of fuel!
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying: "NERDS NOT ALLOWED --- ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK" He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, and asks him what he does for a living. The truck driver says he drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is hauling. The bartender says OK, truck drivers are not nerds, and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils stashed in his pocket protector, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver asks him why he did that. The bartender said not to worry, "The nerds are overpopulating the Silicon Valley, and are in season now. You don't even need a license", he said.
So the truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants, and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can't let them steal his whole load. So remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly.
A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. The truck driver says, "What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season."
"Well, sure," said the patrolman, "But you can't bait 'em."
A truck driver starts truck driving school. The instructor asks him this question "Your driving down a steep mountain and your brakes fail do you A) Start blowing your horn and hope everyone gets out your way till you can get to the emergency truck ramp. B) Cram your transmission into a lower gear and hope the engine slows you down. or C) Try to jackknife your semi hoping that going sideways will slow you down.
The Trainee thinks for a moment and shouts out D!
The instructor says "D? I didn't give you the option of D! What is D?"
And the trainee reply's wake up my co-driver cuz he has never seen a wreck like this!
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